I have never appreciated "New Year's Resolutions" because I tend to shy away from anything that even resembles a broken promise. 2009 was a horrible year for us. 2010 found us the "poorest" we've ever been, with the busiest schedule we've ever had, and the most children we've ever had to wrangle. I think I have grown more in the last two years than I have in a long time. Though this patch has been terribly difficult, it has been so sweet. I appreciate things like I never have before. I am starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I am no longer waiting for "that thing" to come and change my life...whatever that may be. Every day IS my life and I am doing what I (no one else) was created to do. As simple as that sounds, it is profound to me.
There have been times that I have felt like a leaf floating down the rapids of life. I stayed afloat by keeping above the water and not feeling its depths. I closed off certain parts of me so I could focus on the problems at hand. None of this is conscious, of course, and none of it is as simple as a story that can be told. Now, to take the metaphor a little further, I feel like I have a pretty good boat. I'm learning the correct ways use my oars.
I'm excited about 2011. And for the first time, I actually have some resolutions....because I know that I have the power to keep them.
Sweet!
ReplyDelete