(I started this a couple weeks ago)
We're supposed to move at the end of this month! It almost feels like this is really going to happen, but I still feel like I'm living in the shadows of a dream. The picture is becoming clearer with each box packed and each big decision behind us. We came to many conclusions last month and I'm glad those sleepless nights are behind us. Sure, there are certainly more sleepless nights ahead, but those ones have passed! I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or to be less trite, perhaps a placid lake at the end of this waterfall? Hmm.
One of the biggest decisions we faced was what we should do about the duplex we currently live in. The result has me at peace and has taught me something about balance that I am only beginning to comprehend. Our first instinct was to sell and minimize our responsibilities. We have four kids, we know all about responsibilities. It would be nice to bear a lighter yoke. An opportunity to sell didn't work out the way we thought it would, but this wouldn't be the first time. We've come close to selling FOUR times now! Each time we thought we were on the road to Easy(er) Street, we were met with some irritating road block. It seems we were meant to keep this place.
(And that's where I stopped because I ran out of time to write.)
Now it's later in the month and all I can say is I'm glad I was at peace about keeping our duplex...because it looks like we'll be living here longer than we expected. It was another hard decision, and yes, it involved more sleepless nights, but we realized we'd be making a mistake if we moved at this time. The last couple weeks were pretty hard. I don't change direction very quickly, so it felt like whiplash (again) to change direction like that. I was packing and preparing everything in my mind, thinking about where all the furniture would go. I was starting to make all the arrangements involved with moving. Then, stop. Reverse. UNpack.
Life is funny. Because it's better to laugh than to cry. Sometimes.
Now, there is an upside to this story. I haven't put much energy into "settling in" here in the last year or so. We were busy remodeling the basement to make another bedroom in preparation for Baby #4. Then, last winter, we were offered the chance to move, so I started letting things slip. Pictures need to be hung, rooms need new colors painted, and my kitchen is badly in need of reorganizing. I am overwhelmed by all the work that needs to be done, but at the same time I enjoy having purpose. Goals. I like thinking of ways to make things function and flow better. There is only so much I can do with my tiny home, but I do enjoy a challenge! Though I do hope for a bigger house some day in the future, I am so thankful for what we have.
I think a part of me knew we wouldn't be moving. It just never felt "real". Looking back, I think I've had that feeling before. I'd like to recognize it better in the future. It may save me a lot of unnecessary packing. And unpacking. Both literally and metaphorically.
