The most over-used, under-achieved New Year's resolution has got to be "I will lose weight." As I said before, I shy away from resolutions to begin with...I won't touch that one with the proverbial ten-foot pole. I do need to lose weight, but I've found I usually fail whenever that becomes my focus. I need to focus on being healthy and making good choices that will make me feel better.
I'm at an exciting (for me) turning point in my life. I've been pregnant five times in the last 8 years...and I don't plan on being pregnant ever again. I've gone up and down in size so many times, and I never took losing weight very seriously because...well...I was usually pregnant again! My major downfall is that I hate exercise. I keep telling myself that if I keep doing it, I'll eventually learn to like it. I have a feeling that is a long way off. I will persevere because I know it will make me a better person...and better able to keep up with my 4 kids. But I still hate it.
A big thrill for me has been getting rid of maternity clothes...and even some of the in-between clothes. And definitely the old-too-small clothes. It feels so good to "clean house". Recently, I have to keep reminding myself when I shop for clothes that I need to only buy clothes that FIT NOW. I don't need "expanding" clothes for a pregnancy and I don't need those "wishful thinking" too-small clothes. It is so much better to be realistic and just be comfortable with the way I am now. If I need a smaller size in the future...well, that's a good reason to do a little shopping!
Another aspect of "cleaning house" for me has been releasing baby stuff. Once my youngest boy and only girl grow out of something...I can get rid of it! That sounds pretty basic, but it's actually a new way of thinking for me...and it feels great! I'm learning new ways of thinking about a lot of things. I am learning to live in the freedom of God's love. I am simplifying some things, and getting more involved in others. Rather than having a "grin and bear it" attitude about our crazy life and current schedule (my husband is in school and working nights), I want to enjoy these moments along the way. I want to have a more positive focus. I want to dance more. I want to make more time for friends. I want to love my husband, and love him very well. I want to take control where I can to minimize my frustrations with the day to day. I want to always be aware that almost anything I'm doing is not as important as reading the book that my son is waving in front of me.
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